Food, Fish, & Why Eggs Benedict is Awesome

So we have this discussion about egg patterns and some different ways people rig the things. Somehow this conversation quickly moved into a doctoral dissertation on why eggs benedict is the best breakfast “ever created”.

Hollandaise sauce is amazing. I mean, I might as well be injecting peanut butter straight into my jugular but you know, it’s just so good.
-Michael Gracie

So I’m thinking at this point that we are going to have a nice little eggs benedict camp breakfast the next morning. I play dumb, not wanting to clue him in that I figured out his little contribution to the weekend. He keeps strict watch over the cooler throughout the day, further heightening my suspicions. We continue on through the day, fishing some great streams and lakes.

We sit down for dinner and enjoy an above average dish of chili cheese dogs. They were good, but left me feeling unfulfilled, the anticipation of eggs benedict the next day consumed my thoughts. To make matters worse we’re sharing what is essentially a one person tent which causes the humidity to approach 117% and turn our shelter into a sweaty torture chamber.

I awake to a beautiful morning, the neck is a little stiff, and my skin is stuck to the sleeping bag but nothing some eggs benedict can’t help. I go outside, brush my teeth, and turn to ask what was for breakfast…

We had fucking hot pockets.

Comments

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      n.taylor

      Yeah so you bring up a valid point. You throw those things on the stove and you either get frozen or black soot. I even tried using those sleeves that come in the package but those don’t help either. I’m going to be a rich man someday if I figure out how to get hot pockets cooked on a stove. Thanks JR

  1. Alex

    Poaching eggs, toasting english muffins, cooking ham or bacon, and whipped up hollandaise out of a cooler out in the woods?

    Baller status. Tough, though.

    You can purify the butter at home, as well as separate the egg yolks for the sauce, but hollandaise doesn’t last very long after creation, and to properly poach eggs you need a big pot, quite a bit of water, and a little vinegar to keep the whites together, and a stainless bowl and a whisk for the sauce.

    For in-the-field Benedict I would roll with pre-cooked bacon, or pre-sauteed ham, or a side of smoked salmon (best)

    That morning you should would warm some water in a separate pot to transplant the poached eggs once cooked to hold warm while you make the hollandaise, since you will probably only be working with one burner.

    Poach your eggs and hold in warm water. Use your stainless bowl over the stove as a double broiler and whisk up your holandaise, making sure not yo get the bowl too hot causing your egg yolks to scramble.

    Once the hollandaise is done, set aside and toast your english muffins over the stove while warming your pre-cooked ham/bacon/salmon.

    Layer appropriately and commence grubbage of baller field Benedict.

    Try not to shit yourself on the river.

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      n.taylor

      Ok…wow. That is some fantastic advice and I appreciate you taking the time to respond with such detail. Have you done this in the field before or are you just “shooting from the hip” so to speak. If you are interested I would like to go over a few more of these details while you are in town later in August. I will pass along your notes to Gracie and again, I thank you.

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